The Journal

Notes on deciding well.

Essays on hard decisions, drawn from the thinkers in the Consilium roster.


Categories

Thinkers Browse all

Fyodor Dostoevsky Aristotle Confucius Zora Neale Hurston Arthur Schopenhauer Audre Lorde Erich Fromm Marcus Aurelius

Topics

Acceptance accountability Achievement ambition anger Anticipatory Loss Approval Attachment authenticity boundaries care Change Commitment comparison Compassion Complicity compromise Conscience contentment courage Decision-Making desire despair disorientation doubt duty Ethics Excellence expectations failure fairness family flow Forgiveness Freedom friendship future Grief Growth guilt healing Honesty Identity identity crisis identity loss imposter-syndrome Independence Integrity intimacy Letting Go loneliness love loyalty mastery meaning Memory mercy Milestones money Obligation patterns perfectionism privilege purpose readiness Regret reinvention repair Resilience respect responsibility Risk Sacrifice self-betrayal self-care self-deception self-determination self-discovery self-forgiveness self-knowledge Self-Preservation Self-Reliance self-sabotage self-trust self-worth selfishness settling Solitude transformation Trust voice vulnerability

Career

How Do You Stop Comparing Your Career to Everyone Else's?

Diogenes says you are measuring with borrowed rulers. Csikszentmihalyi says comparison kills flow. Hurston says it is your life to sharpen. Three thinkers who disagree on how.

Diogenes of SinopeMihaly CsikszentmihalyiZora Neale Hurstoncomparisonflow

Career

Should I Stay at the Company or Bet on Myself?

Drucker says identify your strengths before deciding anything. Le Guin says every institution is an arrangement, not a necessity. Jung says the unlived life has a cost.

Peter DruckerUrsula K. Le GuinCarl JungRiskIndependence

Ethics

What Do You Do When the System You're Part of Is Doing Something Wrong?

Orwell says name it plainly. Arendt says thoughtlessness is how ordinary people participate in terrible things. Havel says you are already living the lie or refusing it.

George OrwellHannah ArendtVaclav HavelConscienceComplicity

Ethics

When Is It Right to Choose Yourself Over Your Family?

De Beauvoir says the role was never the whole of you. Confucius says duties have real limits. hooks says love does not require your erasure. Three thinkers on the hardest version.

Simone de BeauvoirConfuciusbell hooksself-determinationduty

Identity

How Do You Know When You've Found the Life That's Actually Yours?

Rogers says you will feel it. Gibran says your work is your love made visible. Wollstonecraft says stop performing the role and find out.

Carl RogersKahlil GibranMary Wollstonecraftauthenticitypurpose

Identity

What Do You Do When You Don't Know Who You Are Anymore?

Arendt says identity shows up in action not reflection. Sacks says what you call loss may be a reorganization. Satir says the self is always speaking; learn the language.

Hannah ArendtOliver SacksVirginia Satiridentity crisisself-knowledge

Loss

How Do You Grieve Something That Never Had a Chance to Exist?

Kubler-Ross says grief has no rules about what counts. Rilke says live the loss without demanding it resolve. Kahneman says the mind mourns futures as vividly as pasts.

Elisabeth Kubler-RossRainer Maria RilkeDaniel KahnemanGriefAnticipatory Loss

Loss

What Do You Do When You Can't Stop Blaming Yourself for Something You Can't Change?

Aurelius says what's past is past; decide what reason requires now. Perls says the guilt lives in the present tense. Woolf says what happened lives in you differently than you think.

Marcus AureliusFritz PerlsVirginia Woolfguiltself-forgiveness

Relationships

How Do You Know If You Should Give Someone a Second Chance?

Perel says trust is built in actions not promises. Dostoevsky says suffering can genuinely change a person. Roosevelt says only you can decide what you will accept.

Esther PerelFyodor DostoevskyEleanor RooseveltForgivenessTrust

Relationships

What Do You Do When One of You Has Changed and the Other Hasn't?

One person grows; the other stays put. Fromm says love must keep growing or it dies. Angelou says you cannot unlearn what you have learned. Wittgenstein asks what the silence is doing.

Erich FrommMaya AngelouLudwig WittgensteinChangeGrowth

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